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Halloween Horror: The Meh-Teh

Posted on October 29, 2008 by Flames

We’ve got a new monster by Jason L Blair (Little Fears, Emergence) for the Halloween Horror collection. Be sure to check out his other monster in the series, The Werewolf of Bedburg if you haven’t already.

Meh-Teh

Created by Jason L Blair

The Meh-Teh (or Man-Bear) is a cryptid commonly overlooked by enthusiasts of cryptozoology and paranatural studies. Often assumed to be the same as a Yeti, the Meh-Teh differs from its peak-dwelling cousin in a few ways.

The first way is the most obvious one and that is its hair color. While the Yeti tends to range from white to golden-blond, the Meh-Teh’s hair tends toward black or dark brown.

The second way is less obvious though no less significant and that is that the Meh-Teh is a vegetarian, preferring the bamboo and tree sap to meat and fatty fish that make up its cousin’s mainstay meals. That being said, the Meh-Teh could still kick the ass of even a strong adult human.

The third way is the least obvious and least significant of the differences and involves the Meh-Teh’s affection for spring time, water colors, and the aromatic burning of sandalwood.

The Habitat of the Meh-Teh

The Meh-Teh is native to the subtropical pine forests of the Himalayan mountains and is seen as friendly by the natives. Though due to its skittish nature, it is usually left to forage in peace if sighted. With very rare exception, the Meh-Teh do not venture beyond the mid-region, sticking to the more temperate bases and foothills.

Still, their environment is an elevated one and that has had some adverse effects on the Meh-Teh such as decreased lung capacity and bouts of lightheadedness that can often send the creatures into a usually short but dramatic dizzied fit.

The History of the Meh-Teh

The existence of the Meh-Teh was first documented by famed British explorer Sir Henroi Thustlebum during his unprecedented “14-Man Naked Exploration of the Himalayan Regions of the Chinese Tributary State of Tibet and the Kingdom of Nepal” during the unusually cold summer of 1863.

The story has it that Sir Thustlebum, having long forsaken the original “naked” theme of the exploration (but retaining the theme in the exploration’s name), was venturing out to a wooden region to evacuate his bowels and possibly retrieve some firewood.

Following the former, and during the latter, Sir Thustlebum became horribly lost for his own navigational sense was erratic at best and when topped with a egregious mixture of potent potables such as that regularly consumed by Sir Thustlebum, his sense became downright treacherous.

Desperate to escape the prison of his internal compass, Sir Thustlebum blindly ran around the region calling out the names of his comrades. Sir Thustlebum heard a faint mewling response. Assuming the distance between himself and the caller was lengthy, the brave explorer jaunted quickly toward the noise, only to smack into the barrel-chested trunk of an annoyed Meh-Teh whose sleeping spot has recently been befowled by a creature with an apparent affection for red meat and beans.

In the cool moonlight, Thustlebum saw the creatures massive block-shaped head, wideset eyes, and tall upper lip that ended somewhere inside a sizable underbite.

The beast flung Thustlebum’s own waste at him, hitting the hirsute aristocrat straight in the mutton chops. This sent a now hysterical Thustlebum into a panic. His cries quickly drew the attention of his party who managed to rescue him from the darkness. By the time the others had reached Thustlebum, the creature was gone though the explorer regaled all with repeated tales of the encounter all through the night.

Thustlebum is said to have remarked, “It is a highly unfortunate event that leads me to the discussion of this most vile and inconsiderate beast, but if the price of this incredible discovery is embarrassment to my self-pride then I shall pay it with taxes.”

Hunters flocked to the region in search of the Meh-Teh, possibly to return with a pelt of its highly-treasured hide or a scatalogical tale of their own. While trade of Meh-Teh fur became a lucrative market for some, it was soon discovered the supposed hides were actually dyed fox fur.

Confronting the Meh-Teh

Meh-Teh keep to themselves, timid in the face of civilization’s hustle and bustle, though the lone hiker or small band of missionaries may inadvertently draw the attention of the Meh-Teh by cooking natural grains over a campfire or by playing soft music on an acoustic guitar.

If cornered, the beast will react violently, using its long claws to sweep at anyone who comes within striking distance. Any attempt to communicate in a human tongue could suss out that while the creature does not speak any discernible language, it seems to understand a wide variety of them.

If one does encounter the Meh-Teh, history has proven it best to keep one’s bodily byproducts far from their habitat.

About Jason L Blair
Jason L Blair is a father, husband, video game designer, and aspiring novelist and screenwriter who lives in Madison, Wisconsin, just a few miles from the Flames Rising HQ. He is best known for the award-winning Little Fears RPG. You can check out his list of credits at www.hekeba.com/jason.

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