Categorized | Reviews, RPGs

Squeam 3 RPG Review

Posted on September 25, 2004 by Flames

Available at

“Casey: Who’s there?
Ghostface: Never say who’s there? Don’t you watch scary movies? It’s a death wish. You might as well come out to investigate a strange noise or something.”
– Scream (1996)

Are you a fan of “teen-slasher” movies such as Scream or Nightmare on Elm Street? Or are you more partial to flicks with psycho doll killers or strange trees hunting you at a cabin in the woods? Looking for a quick game with little to no rules and ridiculously fun? Enough with the questions and let’s get to the meat of the topic: Squeam 3.

A sarcastic spoof of both role-playing games and teen horror films, Squeam 3 is a unique take on such a popular genre. Created in a challenge to write an RPG in an hour, Squeam has evolved about as much as the teen horror films have over the years. Creating tasteless, cheap plot lines and extreme gore concepts, Squeam 3 picks up where the first two versions of the game left off.

Game sessions last no more than 90 minutes, for the very reason why most teen horrors only last that long, which in away is more appealing. Furthermore the game system is quite simple. Unlike most roleplaying games that use positive attributes, Squeam applies the negative attributes four simple categories. Personally I think it’s more challenging playing the distressed teen than an overpowering super teen like Buffy. The game provides all elements: a variety of character types, creepy and supportive adult characters, and the rest of the images are all up to you. Mostly a game of imagination, the Squeam mechanics are simple and at points the rules may alter or drop just to keep the game interesting. Just like in horror films, when you think all the rules apply, somebody tends to break them.

Also the game ads a unique element: The Challenge. To experience the real things without actually hurting anyone, challenges take the elements of the game and put the players in frightful and squeamish situations. In other words, roll a batch on your d10 and if you don’t want your character getting killed, take the challenge and find your hand being soaked in a brain-like or bloody substance (no real brains or blood were used in the process of writing this review), among other challenges.

What’s extremely nice about the game is the affordability. Seeing a horror flick in a theater these could cost you $8.50 to $12.00 per person, depending on where you live. The entire game is available to purchase in a PDF file for only $3 at Give Squeam 3 a try and fulfill all your thrilling teen slasher nightmares, without the pain of actual horror. The rest is all up to you.

Reviewer: Jeff Jacobs

Look for Memento Mori Theatricks

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